you live, you learn

hi all!

i'm nearly through my first day of fasting... just got home from uni and was stuffed up to the top with work and stuff to do... so i was destracted all day long and still dont feel hungry. now i still have to go to work, but it's a shorter shift than usaual since the restaurant's not as busy on mondays.

other than that, something i found that you may enjoy... just a funky music vid and chillaxing music:

Link:
Little Bit - by: Lykke Li
i think i'll go running a 3km run with this song tonight...

hope you enjoy, wish you all a lovely day and evening!
with love irene.

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I just completed my evening jog, and boy, am I freezing.

It was raining earlier today, but it was pretty warm, so I thought it'd be okay for me to jog, and boy, was I wrong. It wasn't so bad, initially, but then, it started getting cold. I was jogging, wearing my usual tank and shorts, and I was freezing. I didn't want to slack and stop, so I continued. By the time I got back home, I had to soak my feet in warm water. My teeth were chattering from the cold; it was horrible.

On a happier note, I am happy that all that food didn't get to me today. I hung out with a couple of friends together, and we watched a movie. Usually, movies always leave us eating popcorn and drinking sprite. I couldn't resist the urge to pop a few popcorn into my mouth, and it ended with me eating half the box. I felt pretty horrible and wanted to get it all out of my system, but I couldn't do it in front of my friends; they aren't entirely supportive of me.

Currently, I weigh 100 pounds, and hoping to lose 5 pounds this week! :)

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So it's a monday, and usually people are like, "ugh monday! i have such a long week ahead of me." But not me! im thinking about monday being the start of a new week to the start of the new me.

So today i woke up and i weighed myself....141.4 =[ UGH! i gained back like 2 pounds, maybe a little bit more =[ yesterday i ate so much crap. chips and ice cream and banana bread and grapes and grilled cheese and lots of dinner rolls. ugh =[

so my mother is talking to me about stupid shit again and i dont want to talk because im trying to post here. she's been doing this alot lately =\ ugh.

Me and my boyfriend broke up....again =[ lol. Oh well. this happened on saturday night, and yesterday we were still talking and fighting and whatever and then he didnt answer my last text, and i went to sleep so i really didnt care. I'm going to leave my phone at home today when i go to school so im not tempted to talk to him, and if i come home from school and there is a text from him im going to tell him, "im done agruging, either were going to get over this, or im going to start moving on." and that will be that.

This week isnt really hecked. I might be working on wednesday at the church from 5-8 but im not sure, and then i deff have work on friday at the kitchen from 4-7 and on saturday from 11:30-7 but other then that i have nothing to do.

Mom's still talking, now its about college, ugh.

So i took adderall this morning, i only have 3 left =[ and the other ones haven't come in the mail yet. I really hope they get here soon, i want to do really good this week, and i need the adderall to keep me on track.

Hope to lose atleast 2 pounds by tomorrow so that im back in the 130's

going to try really really hard now in school from now on.

i hope everyone does good today!

I did pretty well yesterday. I probably averaged around 1100-1200, which is fine because I am breastfeeding, so I don't want to go below a thousand. (And, yes, I've done my research on breastfeeding/calorie cutting, so don't lecture me; I would never endanger my child.) It was all healthy stuff, too (besides breakfast), so that is good. I went for an hour long walk and a two-mile run as well.

Today is my day off of exercising (I'll do push-ups/ab work anyway). I'm going to try to stay around the one-thousand calorie mark. For breakfast I have had:

Coffee: 20 calories
1/2 cup of oatmeal: 150
Banana: 105

I'm going to weigh-in tomorrow...wish me luck.

Okay guys I need your help... I have this friend [she lives in the UK] and yesterday we spoke on msn and she was like 'yeah I weigh like 64 pounds now but I'm alright because you can barely see any bones or my ribs even' and she's like 5ft3 which makes her bmi 11.2 or similar. And I was just like 'that's impossible you'd be emaciated if you had a bmi that low' and shes like 'haha my friend has a lower bmi and you can't see her ribs either' and im like 'well then your weight or height is wrong because that's not possible to weigh so little and not have any bones sticking out'.

What do you guys think? Is she lying to me about her weight & height or is it possible to have such a low bmi and look healthily 'normal'? I personally think it's impossible. Please comment <3

ok so first i need to tell my story about yesterday... because it killed my... i couldn't sleep lastnight because my stomach was so painful.
i was at my bf house yesterday... because it was his dads birthday. so i got there around 3 oclock... and i made sure i didn;t had anything to eat befor that...
so first thing... cake... really fat cake... with coffée but they just... made me eat like a enormous peace of cake...
and then for dinner.... French fries and steak and quite allot...
so i've had like atleast... 700 calls? (i've left as much as possible staying polite...and gave a big peace of my steak to my bf) but still... eating that much in just a few hours made my stomach so painful... i'm not used to eating that highfat stuff anymore.

well not today, today's: a LOT beter!
most people really hate the monday... from now on... it will be my best day of the week!!
i'll explain why: first of... my parents are ok with me drinking only some coffee for breakfast! then i need to clean the house... so thats some workout! need to mob the floors and everything! then i'll go to school... say to my parrents i eat lunch there..! and directly after school i have danceclass @ amsterdam... from 18:30 til 19:30... and i will eat only some bread for dinner (and that will be dinner and lunch in one!). and in total i'll have to cylce like 6 km's today... so.. a lot of workout... not allot of food... an no fight about the food: that's my monday!!!!!!!

my danceclass is amazing.. i do bellydancing now... and my teacher is like sooo amazing at it... and she really is beautiful and skinney herself.. and it's like a really heavy workout thats fun to! i love dancing... used to do ballet... but my teacher moved back to egypth...

ok so i only allowed myself wo weight again this morning... and i'm 59.2 kg now sow thats 130.52 pounds... so i lost not that much... only like 1,5 pounds 0,7 kg... sinds tursday.. well it's not like a lot but not really bad eather. what do you guys normaly loos in like 4 days?
still would be great to weigh no more than 55.9 kg or 123.24 pounds at 29th of november (my birthday... i'll be 19 then:D)

thanks for reading^^
-hug-
mathilde

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Hi,
Today was a good day food wise; I ate 1 grilled chicken thigh from KFC. I ate a 100 calorie bag of popcorn. I chewed a lot of gum to distract me from eating. I plan to eat strawberries and grapes if I get hungry later tonight. The totals will probably less than 400 calories. I haven't binged!!!I feel so confused about my weight. I'm 5'3 and today I weigh 92.2 pounds. I lose weight without exercising. I don't eat a lot but I don't understand how I could be losing weight so fast??? I think I might be skinnyfat because I don't exercise. I need to tone my thighs. I also am confused about how I look. Am I very skinny? I don't want people to think I look disgusting. How do I know when to stop? I have been having some health problems. My bones hurt, I feel weird, I burse easily, I think I almost fainted one day. I don't want to go to my doctor because last time he said I was too thin. He told me I need to gain weight when I weighed 102 so now he will really want me to put on weight. Should I be ashamed of my weight loss?
I see a psychiatrist but we mostly talk about my depression, He thinks I have EDNOS

HELP
Please answer my questions

Thanks

( Another Poem& my day lt;3 )

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woah its been a long time since ive posted!!!! so much has happened!!!!!

* i did the great south run in 1:24:44
* i went to the doctors three times in the summer to get help for my ED, it didnt happen (lack of time, long waiting list, etc...)
* i went to the docs at uni 4 help, currently being refered to the ed service. so far ive had blood tests and have had to fill out a massive questionaire!
* my flatties know i have an ED but havnt properly confronted me about it yet, except once 1 drunk, thankgod!!! i really cant handle them knowing at the moment, too ashamed and if i gona try and recover then i dont want them being all interfering.
* im currently 101 lbs :D
* i have the gap back in between my legs
* i fit into uk size 4 and 6 jeans again and have to wear them with a belt
* ive been occasionally using ephedrine, fantastic stuff but only 1 a day and rarely!!!
* i run alot these days, ussually along the beach 3-8miles
* I walk 2 miles to uni and 2 miles back, i often do that twice a day and i speed walk it beacuse im always in a rush or late!
* i went on holiday to egypt-2weeks (scuba diving and snorkeling), 1 week in wales (bodyboarding and hiking) 1 week in france (horse riding and walking)
* ive got better at not b+p all the time and choose fasting instead :)

i think thats the majority of it, went through a really low patch at the beginning of this uni yr, its been burried again now, im sure when i start the recovery process itl be dug back up again.
recovery wise, i just want to stop b+p, i still want to get skinny! and definatley DONT want to put on any weight!


xxxxxxxxx

Hey there, everyone. Day four of my ABC is done.

Special K - 110
Popcorn - 75
Soup - 110
Total: 295 of 400

Okay, so that's not really accurate. I stole two pieces of turkey bacon during breakfast. That definately adds on a few calories, but I don't think it puts me over the limit. so I just didn't include it.

I'm scared about tomorrow. I've never tried keeping under 100 calories before. I need help.


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I'm watching a secret between friends on youtube, and I was wondering, whats your favorite ED movie?

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I lost a pound. Yay :)
I've been jogging and taking my dog for walks a lot lately. I was able to liquid fast for two days before binging. I plan to start another liquid fast this monday. We'll see how that goes.

Hope everybody else has a lovely day. :)

Yesterday actually went pretty well! I had a granola bar, and then i ate a ton of chips.. but I definately stayed under 800! Woo!

Downside: Chips, plus laxatives, plus not drinking water all day because my book distracted me almost made me pass out in the shower. I had to run back to my room and my roomate almost called an ambulance. I'm fine now though!! Its just a case of stupidity!

Had a pretty big breakfast: omelete with bacon and cheese, and 2 pieces of french toast with syrup... Im estimating about 700 just to be safe, since i'm not sure what's in those. Im not proud.. but Sunday is brunch at our school so that's breakfast and lunch, and I have a cross country recruit staying with me, with 20 dollars to get her around the city and fed, so I might just spend it all on her and not eat dinner!! I'll let you know!!
Stay strong girls (and boys!)

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well i hope its a good morning for you, because its not such a good morning for me.

last night i got drunk, really drunk. Apparently i threw up everywhere. Im not feel very well this morning, i feel like im going to throw up again, so im just going to post weights and simple stuff and ill tell you guys all about my night when im feeling a little bit better.

I did eat at sams party, i snacked and i had a turkey sandwich on a roll and i woke up today at 138.2 so tahts not bad.

hope everyone is doing well today.

sooo...

i've been doing pretty well, until my boyfriend came over and made me eat with him. other than that i'm completely drained. had to work from 5pm - 4am yesterday... double shift. nooo good. BUT, i get to buy a new pretty and very warm winter coat!
i really want to get down to 118 until christmas. it's not much, i know, but it is something... and all is good, as long as we keep moving. so i'll be starting all over again. i thought of fasting every second day and keeping it down at 700 cals on the days i eat. it's hard (i've done it before), but it's managable and  works so well if you stick to it... -.- but i messed it up when my boyfriend was here this weekend...
well main point is... i was wondering if someone out there would want to join (fasting every second day i mean)... so we could keep each other posted ^^

so please leave a comment, or write me a msg if you have any interest!
wish you all a lovely day,
with love, irene
 

1. Describes himself as a stubborn and self-righteous person.

2. Admits to being obssessive and possessive.

3. Refuses to have a Publicist because he likes to control himself.

4. Googles himself for fun.

5. Classes himself as shy.

6. Claims to have one leg longer than the other.

7. Like his Vampire character he likes to stay pale and avoids the Sun.

8. Misses London alot and admits to crying because of home sickness.

9. Had his first kiss at 12.

10. Doesn't like to walk the streets anymore and is happiest on protective Film Sets.

11. His sister Lizzy is a Song Writer in her Band Aurora and his other sister Victoria is in advertising.

12. He sometimes sings in his first girlfriends' current boyfriends' band called Bad Girls.

13. His Father is a Car Importer and his Mother worked for a modelling Agency.

14. A good musician he plays the Piano and the Guitar.

15. He was born on May 13th 1986.

16. His Sun is in Taurus and he has a sensitive Moon in Cancer.

17. He is 185 centimetres tall.

18. He wants a dog again when he settles as his old dog died.

19. His next film will be out in January. It is called Parts of Billion and his co- stars are Rosario Dawson and Dennis Hopper.

20. On the set of Harry Potter he did alot of improvising with Rupert Grint and got on with him best.

21. He's been voted the Sexiest Man on the Planet by Glamour Magazine and the Hottest Actor by Rolling Stone.

22. He's a big fan of James Dean.

23. He likes to watch American Idol and the British X Factor.

24. He is a Chain Smoker.

25. He loves the music of James Brown, Wilson Pikett and Van Morrison.

26. To unwind he reads books, writes songs and prefers creative hobbies.

27. He loves Chocolate--especially Twix Bars.

28. He drinks Beer.

29. He prefers Ethical and Natural Products like I Conjure Candles.

30. A Deep Spiritual Guy he once quoted to Joy Magazine.

"I believe in Karma. I believe it exists and whatever you do in your everyday life makes the person that you are. What you give in life comes back to you. I am convinced of that, so everyday you have to be a good person and treat everyone with respect. We are all connected.”


I've picked these up from a number of interviews that he's done.